Thank the person who shared the award with you, by linking back to them in your post.
Pass this award to 15 recently discovered blogs (being sure to let them know that you included them in your blog post).
Lastly, list 7 things about yourself.
DRUMROLL, please. My fave fifteen are (in quite random order):
Each of these bloggers brings a little something different to my daily life. Some offer inspiration, most just make me laugh. And who doesn’t need a little – or a LOT – more laughter in our lives?
And now for my random seven….
7 Things You Didn’t Know About Me (Until Now)
- I can vomit on command. Some people are offended by smells or blood and guts, but I can actually achieve not just a little nausea but full-on barfing and dry heaves just by thinking about really gross or nasty things. Like maggots. Or those awful close up pics of dust mites and bedbugs. It’s a gift.
- I got the rack at Sears. OK not really. It’s just an expression, but the boobs were a gift from my ex just after I turned 30. I use the word “gift” loosely since I ended up with the Visa bill when I left him, but it was his idea. They’ve held up pretty nicely although they don’t look as good now as they did when my stomach was flat and my butt was round. Maybe I’ll get lipo and a butt lift when I have my wings done.
- I have toes like monkey fingers. When I’m carrying a big load of laundry with socks escaping down the hall, I can pick them up with my toes. I can also pinch (viciously), write my name, and smoke a cigarette with my toes. I cannot light the cigarette with my toes or eat with my feet. That’s just dangerous and gross. I have standards y’all.
- Perhaps the “y’all” gave it away so it might not be a surprise, but I’m a full-fledged Southern Girl. Southern as in South Carolina, not the South of France. I come from a little corner of the world where our mamas put sweet tea in our baby bottles, fed us grits three times a day, and “spanked” us with switches from the forsythia bush. My friends and I learned to make homemade biscuits and cornbread without a recipe or measuring cups. Girls who could not master these necessities were taken out to the lake and left for dead because clearly they were possessed by some kind of Yankee demon that only catfish could exorcise.
- I have a love/hate relationship with PORK. I love bacon and sausage, pork chops and tenderloins but I despise HAM. City ham, country ham, salted ham, cured ham, honey ham, ham sandwich, whatever. It doesn’t matter. I hate it all. I hate the sight, smell and feel of it, all of it. Ham is one of the things I think about when I’m trying to spontaneously vomit (See #1).
- I am a currently unchurched Christian. Jesus is good. Churches not so much. It’s a long story, and not especially funny so I’ll skip it here.
- I write this blog mostly anonymously so I can cuss like a sailor when I feel like it or make fun of my daughter’s friends’ parents. My friends know who I am, but I don’t advertise it on my facebook page or even to my extended family mostly to save my daughter’s and husband’s relationships with the outside world. Plus I would hate for The Princess to get kicked out of private Christian school because of her wine-drinking, fuck-saying mother. That would pretty much suck.
Now for you lucky fifteen – We want to know more about you so get busy! And thanks again, Suerae!