Driving home from the beach this week, we literally passed a dozen cops in less than an hour. Just as I was thinking about telling Prince Charming that he might want to slow it down a bit, he glances in the rearview and announces the arrival of the oh-so-dreaded blue lights.
ATTENTION K-MART SHOPPERS: We have a blue light special on (mostly) law-abiding suburban parents in the
sporty convertible minivan!
Princess: “Daaaaad! No way! Her head swivels like a junkie in an alley and then turns her attention back to the Cinderella video.
Prince Charming politely retrieves his license while I scrounge for the registration and insurance card. The cop explains that we were speeding 15 miles over the posted limit in front of a “Convalescent Home”. Why would the speed limit be lower in front of an old folks home? Are the elderly such a risk to traffic with their skateboards and rollerblades and wheelchairs?
And why target us? I just bought this freaking swagger wagon a couple of months ago, and this is the second time we’ve (One for me, one for Prince Charming) gotten a ticket. According to research, minivans are supposed to be somewhat immune to being ticketed. Um. I don’t think so.
I think cops pull over minivans for the same reason old men come on to fat chicks in bars. It’s e a s y. Like shooting fish in a barrel.
I’ve never met a police officer who wasn’t overworked and underpaid. There is always the drug dealing, mafioso, macho cop in movies, but I don’t know any personally – I wish I did right now so someone could get these tickets fixed for me. I believe these hard-working guys and gals occasionally need a break from chasing mouthy teenagers, twitchy tweakers and armed drug runners on the interstate, and what could be better than calm minivan dad?
Minivan = moms and dads who (probably) won’t be drunk, high or (literally) fighting mad. Minimal swearing. Hardly ever need the Taser. As the Princess would say, “Easy peasy lemon squeezy”.
The cop gives Prince Charming a break. ONLY a two-point ticket and $80 fine. Thanks, Pal.
And thanks for not checking the cooler.
Props "Ruin Raider" at Flickr for the cop pic. More HERE.