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There is a reason that very grown women cannot have children. That reason is named Ava. She’s a pistol and taking all my energy and every moment of my time. She also has a few interesting habits and idiosyncrasies. By “interesting” I mean completely maddening.

First, the sweet girl has THE most disgusting little “self-soothe”. All kids do a little something to lull themselves when life gets harried or when they are trying to fall asleep. My eldest sucked her finger and rubbed her cheek. There are those who sit in the crib and rock themselves and those who gently bang their little heads against walls. You’ve got your hair twirlers and eyebrow rubbers and thumbsuckers (like me). And then you have Ava.

The sweet and incredibly lovely little girl takes the forefinger and sticks it in her mouth. Then she adds the middle finger. Then the ring finger. It looks so precious with a half a hand crammed in her mouth. And THEN….

…pointer finger snakes out of her mouth and up her nostril. And then back into her little mouth. And THEN…

…the middle finger snakes out of her mouth and up her other nostril. And then back into her little mouth. You know where I’m going here.

My adorable little baby is a booger eater. I am the mother of a booger eater. Fuck.

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