….my true love gave to me – A picture of a new baby!
As we embark on our adventure to Russia, I am taking the liberty of reposting from my [very] old blog. These are the adventures of our adoption of The Princess:
Deciding to Adopt
I’m often asked about this and about our whole “story” of becoming a family, so this seems like an ideal place to tell it. Although this is probably the most boring part of our story, I have to include it so you will appreciate the final result as much as we did.
My husband & I married late in life. I was 34 and he was 38. Not OLD exactly, but certainly mature. Knowing that age might be an issue in making babies and knowing previous “female troubles” I’d had, we wanted to try conceiving right away. So we, as they say, got busy but to no avail.
Around the time I turned 37, I started using fertility drugs. In case you’ve never taken them or lived with someone on them, let me explain the hellish cycle:
- Day 1 – Start period. Be depressed because you aren’t pregnant.
- Days 3 thru 7 – Take a pill every morning. Have hot flashes and night sweats.
- Days 8 thru ? – Take temp every morning while still in bed. Get up and go pee on a stick which will tell you whether you are not fertile, slightly fertile, or stay in bed with the hubby because this might be your last chance fertile.
- Day 14 – Go to doctor for ultrasound to determine if you have any “good eggs.” Sit in waiting room with a hundred happy pregnant women. Fight urge to kill them.
- Take another drug every day for the rest of the cycle which causes uncontrollable tears, and have (as Bill Clinton would say) “relations” with husband only on strict schedule when the results from your pee stick say.
- Day 21 – Return to doctor for blood work.
- Day 22 – Call for results. In my case, the results were always negative so I had to start yet another drug for five days which forced me to start my period. Prepare to start over with step one.
In midst of this trial, don’t forget that every nosy family member, every friend I hadn’t seen in a year, and everyone I worked with INSISTED on asking, ”So. When are you two planning to have a baaabeeey?” Thank God for Lexapro, or I may be doing time now for killing some busybody….I DID pick up a great response from a poster at the Resolve (fertility organization) website: “Are you suggesting that my husband and I have MORE sex? We can hardly keep our jobs as it is!” I found that this smart alek remark made me feel oddly better, and it made the other person laugh so we didn’t have to discuss the elephant in the room. It probably was not the right response to an elderly aunt though. She nearly snorted sweet tea out of her nose.
After too many months of this nonsense, my sweet husband was consoling me one evening and said, “Hey, Gina. Let’s adopt.” Well, duh. Years earlier, I was a huge advocate of adoption with several friends and coworkers. I had always thought adoption was a great idea. I had even told John early in our relationship that I wanted to adopt even if we had four kids of our own. Why hadn’t I thought of this sooner? I’m a bright girl. DUH, DUH, DUH.
So I wiped away my tears and flushed all the hormones. He was on board. I was on board. 100%. I called for references the next day and had our home study scheduled the next week. I knew in my heart on that Friday night, weeping in my living room that I would become a Mama.
“He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord.” Psalms 113:9
Praise the Lord, indeed.