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I HATE going to the dentist. Really. I’m a complete dentalphobe. Actually, there is a real name for my problem: “Post-Traumatic Dental-Care Anxiety” or PTDA. When I make an appointment, there is pretty much a guarantee that I’ll be cancelling. At least twice. And usually at the last minute. Apparently, this is taboo in the wide world of freaks who get their jollies off by putting their nasty hands in my mouth dentists.
I have an acquaintance who is a dentist as well as several friends and neighbors who are dental hygienists. Some are closer than others, but I have to be honest and say that I don’t believe I can ever really trust any of them. I believe that there must be some sort of character deficiency that allows you to perform dental work. It’s gross and slobbery and painful. I feel the same way about people who CHOOSE dentistry as a profession as I feel about people who CHOOSE proctology as a way to make a living.
“You can take your finger out of my butt now and thanks.”
In my defense, I had a horrible dentist as a child who performed evil torture on me. Remember this was back in the days before the zoo/party that is now Pediatric Dentistry. Dr. O insisted on X-rays ALL THE TIME and those nasty flouride trays. Both of these made me gag, heave, and usually barf right in the floor. He probably hated to see me coming down the hall (in tears of course) as much as I hated to see his evil eyes over the top of that face mask.
Suerae Stein said:
OMG your post is so timely! And funny! I just went to the dentist yesterday because of tooth pain and had a filling replaced. I get the sweats and am close to a panic attack just in anticipation. Now I’m worried he replaced the WRONG filling! If you are anywhere close to my age (47) I think we have good reason to be dentalphobes. I can’t get over the torture that we endured back then compared to how easy our kids have it today. Just a cleaning took 45 minutes when I was a kid. My gums felt like they were stripped of all protective layers and I thought they were going to rip the teeth out of my head with all that violent scraping. I constantly had cavities too, and that was the worst. They didn’t have the nice soothing gum anesthetic gel that they give now before injecting those huge novacaine needles. Believe me, it is SO much better now. My dentist cleans my teeth with some kind of ultrasonic waves and baking soda spray – no scraping and it takes 10 minutes. You should go, just to avoid longer and more painful possibilities down the road. It’s still not fun, but a million times better than it used to be!
Thanks for the chuckle! ~ Suerae
psychodynamom said:
I’m 44 so I totally understand. My old hygienist understood me so I didn’t cancel – as often – with her so it’s only been a year since I went. The office staff at the new office doesn’t like me!
Dotty said:
Thank you so much for this airtcle, it saved me time!
Kaed said:
None can doubt the veracity of this artclie.
Ann said:
I could put up with my old dentist because he used gas for everything and would ramp the chair so far backward I didn’t need my chiropractor that day. But now I don’t have any dental insurance (divorce can do that to you) and I know it’s going to come back and bite me. No, wait I won’t be able to bite back.–Ann
Gracelynn said:
Son of a gun, this is so helupfl!
Carlynda said:
This makes evertyhnig so completely painless.
thepoolman said:
I feel your pain. I had a lot of dental work as a child — extractions and braces. I hated it. As an adult I have compensated.
I am a fiend about brushing and flossing in fear of root canals, fillings, crowns, etc.
My current dentist is a beautiful woman in her early 30s. She can poke around my mouth anytime she wants. Sigh.
Jannika said:
Yo, that’s what’s up ttruhfully.
Rain said:
Holy concise data btaamn. Lol!
thepoolman said:
BTW — I really like your blog. Keep up the good work!
Kaylan said:
I’m out of league here. Too much brain power on dpsialy!
Christiana said:
There’s notinhg like the relief of finding what you’re looking for.
DesiValentine said:
Ohmygod, did I laugh reading this one! I’m actually not afraid of the dentist at all (I know, I’m a freak), but I did once wait NINE YEARS between appointments. (I was a poor student, what can I say?) Don’t do that. Seriously. It was a bad, bad, very bad, very expensive decision. And also painful. Maybe a sedation dentist is more your speed? My mum is dentist-phobic and loves her new one – he uses sedations – though, she does come home eerily giddy…. Great post!
Jobeth said:
Your article prefetcly shows what I needed to know, thanks!
Cathleen said:
This aritlce keeps it real, no doubt.
Rileigh said:
With all these silly weibstes, such a great page keeps my internet hope alive.
Lidia said:
I’m relaly into it, thanks for this great stuff!