It is so freaking HOT. This is one menopausal mama who is not built for 105° heat. Last week was swim team divisionals and “Spirit Week” (Someone, please shoot me now!) so I spent every day doing pool and kid activities while looking like a total hag. I’ve been schelpping around with no makeup and sticky, damp clothes and sweaty hair for a whole week now and I cannot take it anymore. Last Saturday was the Divisionals Swim Meet where I had the misfortune to sit outside on metal bleachers for NINE hours in the hot summer sun while the Princess swam for a total of less than five minutes. Sunday afternoon, I informed Prince Charming that I would be shopping this week for some (ahem) stylish clothes that could withstand the southern heat plus mama’s hot flashes and he just laughed. HA HA. Yeah. So I just hauled my cookies to the sporting goods store and spent $200 on fabulous and cute and sweatproof TENNIS SKIRTS AND MATCHING TOPS! Did I mention I don’t play tennis?
Well. I don’t play tennis. I actually took tennis lessons 12,000 years ago from a fabulous one-armed instructor (Yes, really, but I’ll save that story for another day.) and learned the basics. However, I’ve suffered for several years now from “Tennis Elbow” due to carrying around a half grown child and a 74 pound purse. (Let me insert here that I am strongly against the use of the term “Tennis Elbow”. I’ve always thought it should be called “Damn. I just hurt myself while flinging my arms around having a big ass temper tantrum” or something like that.
I just figured that if I had on the cute outfit with
shitty sweaty hair people might think I had spent the afternoon “on the court” being physically fit as opposed to “on my porch” smoking cigarettes. So NO, I don’t play tennis. But don’t I look CUTE?