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It is so freaking HOT.  This is one menopausal mama who is not built for 105° heat.  Last week was swim team divisionals and “Spirit Week” (Someone, please shoot me now!) so I spent every day doing pool and kid activities while looking like a total hag.  I’ve been schelpping around with no makeup and sticky, damp clothes and sweaty hair for a whole week now and I cannot take it anymore. Last Saturday was the Divisionals Swim Meet where I had the misfortune to sit outside on metal bleachers for NINE hours in the hot summer sun while the Princess swam for a total of less than five minutes.   Sunday afternoon, I informed Prince Charming that I would be shopping this week for some (ahem) stylish clothes that could withstand the southern heat plus mama’s hot flashes and he just laughed.  HA HA.  Yeah.  So I just hauled my cookies to the sporting goods store and spent $200 on fabulous and cute and sweatproof TENNIS SKIRTS AND MATCHING TOPS!  Did I mention I don’t play tennis? 

Well.  I don’t play tennis.  I actually took tennis lessons 12,000 years ago from a fabulous one-armed instructor (Yes, really, but I’ll save that story for another day.)  and learned the basics.  However, I’ve suffered for several years now from “Tennis Elbow” due to carrying around a half grown child and a 74 pound purse.  (Let me insert here that I am strongly against the use of the term “Tennis Elbow”.  I’ve always thought it should be called “Damn.  I just hurt myself while flinging my arms around having a big ass temper tantrum” or something like that.

I just figured that if I had on the cute outfit with shitty  sweaty hair people might think I had spent the afternoon “on the court” being physically fit as opposed to “on my porch” smoking cigarettes.  So NO, I don’t play tennis.  But don’t I look CUTE?

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